G E E K I N T H E W H I T E!

I feel as though I am the world biggest retard. Words just can't express how much you meant the world to me, for making you so upset and all. Even if I say all these, I know you still hold some doubts in me and naturally, I couldn't blame you. I know I'm saying these and you might be thinking, I'll do it another way the second time. Yes, I'm a jerk. But you see, my love for you has always been real since the very start. What hurts my heart the most was seeing us so close at one moment and next, you crying over me. You deserved better (in fact much better), not all these emotional shits and turmoil circulating your mind when you have other important stuffs to deal with. I always thought in a relationship, it’s all about following the heart and love the person that you feel happy with. At this point of time, I'd only say those were the thoughts that push me to love you more and not making you sad. Your words last night have been rather impactful on me, reinforcing my mindset towards you. More or less, strengthening it. It kept me thinking for hours. Despite the fact that we have been together for nearly five months (not exactly very long), I'd felt the love showered by you. I should say, all the joys with you around, as I enjoyed every seconds when we were together. Sometimes, I looked into the future; all the shared visions with you, those promises that I gave you, the ever thumping heart that taught me how to love you. Yet, I overlooked the fact of not showering you with love consistently, which saddened you so much, I'd rather swap places with you and endure all the emotional pain that you're undergoing. I just felt depressed to realize only at the brim of losing you, allowed me to think so thoroughly, concluding that I can't afford to lose you. I don't know how long I might take, probably years, to find another person like you who are willing to give me so many chances when I kept doing stupid stuff that make you sad. In spite of seeing you cried on numerous situations, you picked up the trust that I lost it halfway from you and continued to love me. Unless I'm a fool, I could see the effort that you put in and all the thoughts of celebrating my 20th birthday with me. I was super elated to see you yesterday. From saving those allowance of you for my hoodie, the effort in finding recipes from the net and baked (14/20) cupcakes for me when I merely said I wanted to taste your culinary skills to the specially made birthday card! As a matter of fact, I could see all the efforts from you in pleasing my mum and building good relationship with them. Instead, I choose to be the little man and overlooked all these.

All I ask for is another chance just cause I love you.